Many years ago I had a fellow police officer who had previously worked in another city. One night he and his partner were on patrol and spotted what appeared to be a young couple cruising the streets in a convertible, top down on a lovely night. The driver committed some minor traffic infraction, so the cops decided to stop him just to give him a friendly verbal warning. (Yes, those really did use to exist — friendly verbal warnings, I mean.) Which they proceeded to do.

A bit unusually, even back then, the driver immediately leaped out of his car and practically ran back to the squad car as the two officers got out, frantically feigning politeness and apologizing profusely, waving his driver’s license at them. And kept looking nervously over his shoulder towards his car.

Of course the officers became suspicious, especially when they noticed the lady was stock still. They insisted on checking on “her” — who turned out to be a bikini-clad inflatable doll! But it gets better — while they were moving towards the car, the driver was frantically saying she was still because she had been drinking.

They couldn’t help but laugh when they realized what they had on their hands, and decided to have some fun with the poor kid. They sternly informed her she was under arrest, and removed “her” from the car and handcuffed her.

The poor driver didn’t know whether to be shocked, angry, or scared to death of two apparently loony-tunes cops. (I vote for the last choice.)

They were the regular beat officers in that area, and the kid lived there, so of course they would see him after that, though they dropped the admittedly cruel joke they played on him. But practically the day the kid graduated from highschool, he joined the army or moved away some other way, I forget. Never to be seen with his “girlfriend” again!